


Please Remind Me Who I Really Am

by GleefulPoppet



Series: Pressed Against the Glass [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Feelings, Hope, Klaine, M/M, song: My Dark Side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GleefulPoppet/pseuds/GleefulPoppet
Summary: He may feel broken, but is there light on the horizon? A glimpse at what happens to Blaine after Chapter 1 in the Pressed Against the Glass story. (You will want to read at least through Chapter 4 in the main story before reading this one-shot).
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: Pressed Against the Glass [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1992307
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Please Remind Me Who I Really Am

**Author's Note:**

> Read at least Chapters 1-4 of Pressed Against the Glass before you read this one-shot.

From Pressed Against the Glass Chapter 1

_Meanwhile, across town, a curly-haired man sits alone in the corner of his loft. Tears are spilling down his cheeks as he thinks about a gorgeous boy who lit a spark inside of him. Everything seems less dull somehow. With a twirl and an elbow to the face, he brought him to life. Despite the tears, he chuckles at the memory. It was actually the few moments after the twirl which fanned that tiny flame inside him. He could feel so much passion in those few minutes._

_But, he feels so old and shattered and wonders what a sweet boy like Kurt could ever see in him. So he lets the tears fall, forehead pressed against the glass, watching people live their lives in the park and wondering why he stopped living his._

\------------------------------

He’s not sure how much time passes, but he realizes that _that_ is part of the problem, isn’t it? He’s lost track of time. How long has he been going to therapy now, anyway? How much longer will he feel the sting of betrayal and the sometimes overwhelming hurt? How long has he been alive but not really living? 

A shudder goes through his body, its epicenter at his heart, it pulses through him with one violent wave that feels like it’s breaking things loose inside his soul that haven’t moved in a long time. He closes his eyes, searching within, embracing the feeling.

 _Oh wow,_ **_feeling_ ** _. There are new feelings. Wow, I’m feeling something other than pain, and I’m feeling something other than being numb. I’m feeling. Hell. This is good, right? I feel—like—there’s, what is that? It’s that spark of fire I feel deep within my soul when he touched me. And, the world is in color again? I see him. I see him in perfect clarity. The color of his eyes—the most gorgeous marbled gray, green, and blue with tiny amber flecks. His thick beautiful chestnut hair, his long lashes, his long limbs, and his smile. Oh damn, that smile could make anyone want to live a better life just to be able to see it again._

“I want a better life. I want to **feel alive** again,” he says to his reflection. Within seconds of that thought, he can feel a peculiar warmth spread over his body. It feels like a healing hug he’s been craving all his life. And with the warmth comes a memory that hasn’t happened yet. It’s like Déjà vu but set in the future. It gives him all the courage he could ever need because he knows it’s supposed to happen, that this is where his life was _always_ headed. The memory is an idea that feels so right he’s going to _try_ not to question it.

He sees himself waking up the next morning, pacing in front of Dolce Gabbana, trying to wait for them to open patiently so he can buy that scarf that was only ever meant for Kurt to wear. He sees himself penning a handwritten note, handing it to the clerk as she slips it into the box, watching her wrap the package with extra care. He sees himself hiring a courier to deliver it to Kurt at Vogue—so grateful Kurt let so many details slip into their conversation.

He feels better somehow. He has a plan. He knows what he’s supposed to do. And he’s found the **_courage_** to take this first step. There is light inside of him where, even just this morning, it only felt dark. Of course, as with most things in life, there is always that equal and opposite reaction present as well. There is that other part of him that wonders how it could ever work. _Can I truly ask Kurt to become part of this lifestyle and expose him to my brokenness?_

As he climbs into bed, a song comes into his mind. He grabs his phone and plays it. Music has always helped him work through his feelings, and he feels strongly that this is one of those crucial moments. So he closes his eyes and [sings](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRP-V9DgLKs) with his soul as the tears fall. 

_Uh-ooh  
_ _Uh-oh oh, oh  
_ _There's a place that I know  
_ _It's not pretty there and few have ever gone  
_ ** _If I show it to you now  
_** _Will it make you run away  
_ ** _Will you stay  
_** _Even if it hurts  
_ ** _Even if I try to push you out  
_** _Will you return?  
_ _And remind me who I really am  
_ ** _Please remind me who I really am  
_** _Everybody's got a dark side  
_ _Do you love me?  
_ ** _Can you love mine?  
_** _Nobody's a picture-perfect  
_ _But we're worth it  
_ ** _You know that we're worth it  
_** _Will you love me?  
_ ** _Even with my dark side?  
_** _Like a diamond  
_ _From black dust  
_ _It's hard to know  
_ _What can become  
_ _If you give up  
_ ** _So don't give up on me  
_** _Please remind me who I really am, yeah!  
_ _Everybody's got a dark side  
_ _Do you love me?  
_ _Can you love mine?  
_ _Nobody's a picture-perfect  
_ _But we're worth it  
_ ** _You know that we're worth it  
_** _Will you love me?  
_ _Even with my dark side?  
_ _Don't run away  
_ _Don't run away (don't run away)  
_ _Just tell me that you will stay (just tell me that you will stay)_  
 ** _Promise me you will stay_** _(promise me you will stay)_  
[...]

He hears a small voice whisper to him before he drifts off to sleep. _Trust the connection. Kurt is the light._

_-_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @jayhawkwrites for being my beta for this story. All mistakes are my own, of course!


End file.
